
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Another two and a half months that we haven't been contacted, since you told me that we should be no more friends and have no more contacts......
Forgot how many times you asked me to leave in this relationship. What is my value to you? You can dump me anytime you wish, call me back, dump me, call me back, and again dump me.......
Have you ever cherish a girl who used to love you so much, everything consider about you first, who consider your happiness before her? Have you ever care about how she feel all these years?
The fact is she means nothing to you. You like to see her upset, cry, disappointed instead of giving her happiness and protect her. That's not love.......
I never understand what you think. You change your mind so fast. Today, you treat me well and tomorrow you ask me to leave. This is not the first time happened like this. I deserve for that.
All memory back to my mind:
Mid Oct 2002 - Met in Shanghai.
End Oct 2002 - Told me that you have a lot of girlfriends.
Dec 2002 - Sent me letter from Italy, told me that you change career, now live in Rome and have a family.
22 Dec 2002 - Called me, told me that we shouldn't contact each other.
March 2003 - Told me not to call you, send you email again before you leave H.K, and that we are not boyfriend and girlfriend.
August 2003 - Asked me to leave the hotel room, and never contact you again in H.K.
June 2004 - Changed the flight and leave one day before scheduled. Left me in Sapporo by myself and said we should not contact each other again.
June 2005 - Told me that you always have prostitution before, and asked me to leave the hotel room again.
Sept 2005 - Told me not to contact you again, and asked me to take off the necklace you gave.
May 2006 - Admitted that you actually live with your wife over the phone, which you said no before when I asked.
Oct 2006 - Called me and told me that you had divorced.
22 Dec 2007 - Told me that we should be no more friends and have no more contacts again.
There is only one stupid woman like me in this world...........
Thank you so much for what you gave me.
Friday, November 02, 2007

Dear Belle,
Don't be silly again. He is not serious to you. You are not in his mind, he just treats you as a toy that he can play it if he feel bored. He just playing with you, and he won't do anything for you even spending 1 hour time for you.
Don't be silly again, you know it clear, you can judge it by common sense. Even a kid knows that he never cherish you and never care about you.
Stop that Belle. Forget about him and not hurting yourself anymore. That's enough........
Be smart, be rational and behave yourself. Stop stupid, clear your mind and get back yourself.
Thursday, November 01, 2007

Another 2 months since we contacted again.
Its an excuse to buy time for each other from the iPod.
We both deceiving ourselves, particularly me.
The logic is clear, 4 people hurts in a relationship.
All win in long run if it break, or 1 hurt........
The answer is clear.
But the problem is "when", when and how can it clearly cut and no more confuse.
To say goodbye to someone you love is never easy, particularly forever.
And who know if its forever? And the difference between the 1st goodbye and the 20th goodbye?
God, please give me guildline and direction for how to go. Please give me power for how to live.
Please.
God, can you hear? Why don't you give me feedback, I asked you so many times all these years. Why?
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